How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
