Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
