can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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