i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My ATM looks so different sober.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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