Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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