Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
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DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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