is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
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