So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize