Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
