They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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