i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize