I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Found your dick twin last night
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
