my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Randomize
