Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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