No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
