dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
