on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
