It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
