i think my mom watched the whole time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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