Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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