this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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