and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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