3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
