Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You are the jesus of drinking
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
