I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're too hungover to prance.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize