Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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