i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
