i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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