Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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