if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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