u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize