PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
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why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did I show you my penis last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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