worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
