Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was confusing and full of hummus
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
