Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That accounts for only three of the penises
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
