You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
