Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
