I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
