you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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