the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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