he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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