D3 body, D1 cock
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
