My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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