I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
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Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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