Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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