Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
