glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
