quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
