I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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