Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
