there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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