do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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