Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
