oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
