the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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