conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
