He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
