honey bunches of taint.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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