Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
