I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
