Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize