Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
